Tamekia's Thoughts

Life can take a turn in matter of seconds sometimes that can be for the best and sometimes that can be for the worse one just never knows....Well I have been a living witness to both and although when it changes for the good yay that is great but when you find yourself dealing with the latter you become so overcome with hurt anger and worry that at times you forget that the first thing you must do is pray....Hello...if you can read this then just know this has happened to me. For years when everything was fine I prayed but just expected that without the work things would remain in my favor...only praying when I felt like something was headed to go wrong or my children were getting out of control or if my marriage had hit a rough patch you know just things like that but only when trouble showed it's ugly head would I find myself on my knees in prayer....not realizing that all the praying and studying that I did when I let go of the worry and allowed for God to move on my behalf was ...

What do you do when you feel as though you have hit rock bottom? This is a question that I am asking myself as I type this because for now it seems as though this is where I am and have been for some time now. What do you do when you feel like you have lost everything you have ever worked hard for in your life with the exception of family which is the most important thing of course but otherwise you have nothing left....I'm there too. No support system no one to vent to just my thoughts and prayers. I pray I try and remain positive I try and make good out of every situation but I am human and as a human i sometimes fall short of patience and understanding and I have to continually remind myself that through Gods grace there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. Can someone please show me the light I don't need to see it all but just a glimmer of hope that everything will be okay that my family will be okay that my sanity will be okay and in tact after this time is over.......

For most of my life I have been secured in a blanket of stability...I know that is what most crave and yearn for and it is what's normal until it isn't anymore. It is normal until you are faced with a situation that may cripple what you have always known and toure faced with what is around the corner, the unknown... How do you get over your gear of the unknown? I would say you pray your way through the situation and pray that the stability you've always known stays in tact but the other side of me would say step out on faith embrace what is your new norm and keep it pushing.Tbats the battle, that's the conflict, that's the problem, and solution all in one. Many people face these same issues and I don't know what their outcomes have been, and frankly I don't know what mine will be but what I do know is that I can face and conquer whatever is designed for me. Being complacent is no longer an option. Sometimes God puts you in a place of being uncomfotable to mo...

I could tell stories of things in my life that would make the hair on he back of your neck stand on end...but through all the deception, dishonesty, and deceit that I have faced I am thankful for learning to walk by faith...Faith is the only thing that is getting me and has gotten me through. I have faith the size of a mustard seed that a change is right around the corner...I can no longer allow negativity in my life because it takes up the space that I need to focus on becoming a better me. I am tired of being angry and walking around with a chip on my shoulder simply because that has me guarded and I never know what blessing I may miss out or walk away from. Although trusting people to not hurt me is not something I am too familiar with I just have to entrust my faith to get me to and through those situations...I will continue to pray and focus on my Faith because of I have to focus on people for my happiness I wouldn't have continued to be a loss soul....

It's funny that the name of this is rollercoaster considering that I am the type of person who goes to amusement parks and fairs and I don't ride them...but it doesn't take a genius to know what the affect of one feels like or the experience it can give you. I may not ride them but I feel as though I'm on one when it comes to my everyday life, the same rotation and motion just lie a rollercoaster...They go the same way every time and do exactly the same thing but the outcome for each person that enters that ride can be completely different...I feel as though I go through the same that race and some of the same outcomes throughout my entire 36 years of life...I want more, I deserve more, I am more than the struggles I have been faced with. I have and will always put my trust in God but I do know I am human and I fall short sometimes and the only person that can change the situations that I am faced with is prayer and me...Looking forward to coming out on top doesn't ...