Tamekia's Thoughts

For most of my life I have been secured in a blanket of stability...I know that is what most crave and yearn for and it is what's normal until it isn't anymore. It is normal until you are faced with a situation that may cripple what you have always known and toure faced with what is around the corner, the unknown... How do you get over your gear of the unknown? I would say you pray your way through the situation and pray that the stability you've always known stays in tact but the other side of me would say step out on faith embrace what is your new norm and keep it pushing.Tbats the battle, that's the conflict, that's the problem, and solution all in one. Many people face these same issues and I don't know what their outcomes have been, and frankly I don't know what mine will be but what I do know is that I can face and conquer whatever is designed for me. Being complacent is no longer an option. Sometimes God puts you in a place of being uncomfotable to mo...

I could tell stories of things in my life that would make the hair on he back of your neck stand on end...but through all the deception, dishonesty, and deceit that I have faced I am thankful for learning to walk by faith...Faith is the only thing that is getting me and has gotten me through. I have faith the size of a mustard seed that a change is right around the corner...I can no longer allow negativity in my life because it takes up the space that I need to focus on becoming a better me. I am tired of being angry and walking around with a chip on my shoulder simply because that has me guarded and I never know what blessing I may miss out or walk away from. Although trusting people to not hurt me is not something I am too familiar with I just have to entrust my faith to get me to and through those situations...I will continue to pray and focus on my Faith because of I have to focus on people for my happiness I wouldn't have continued to be a loss soul....

It's funny that the name of this is rollercoaster considering that I am the type of person who goes to amusement parks and fairs and I don't ride them...but it doesn't take a genius to know what the affect of one feels like or the experience it can give you. I may not ride them but I feel as though I'm on one when it comes to my everyday life, the same rotation and motion just lie a rollercoaster...They go the same way every time and do exactly the same thing but the outcome for each person that enters that ride can be completely different...I feel as though I go through the same that race and some of the same outcomes throughout my entire 36 years of life...I want more, I deserve more, I am more than the struggles I have been faced with. I have and will always put my trust in God but I do know I am human and I fall short sometimes and the only person that can change the situations that I am faced with is prayer and me...Looking forward to coming out on top doesn't ...

     It's been four years since I have posted here and that is entirely too long. I completely forgot about this blog spot and I am so happy I have found it because at this time in my life I need some sort of release. My thoughts and problems are weighing heavy on me and all I can do is try and thing positively and pray my way through....      I have come to a point in my life where I have made it a habit to put everyone's thoughts and needs before my own, and now I am struggling to find me again. I am struggling to find out what makes me happy because everyone else's happiness has been at the forefront of my life for so long. I want to find out what drives me because I have been a driving force for everyone else, breathing life into their hopes and dreams that I have allowed mine to fall by the wayside. I want to thrive and grow as a person in my own right without interruptions, and although being a wife and mother I know this makes me sound sel...

As of last night I am having to think outside the  box about friendship...Being raised in Louisiana, I come from a place where friendhips last forever, where your friend's families also become your own, moving to Texas was an eye opening experience, where friendships are based on what or who is the hottest trend at the moment...Learning to love myself, when other peoples love and acceptance of me came with a christmas list of exceptions, and demands that were mostly one sided was no snall feat for me. It has taken a long time for me to realize that the only acceptance that I ahve truly needed was the acceptanc eof myself, the acceptance of my body image, my hair, my looks, my faults, and my brazen attitude when I feel as though I have been wronged. The acceptance of the fact that I was raised just two hundred miles away from my biological family that visited me when the time was convienient for them. There are a lot of things that I have had to accept about myself, and it has taken...